Chapter Seven Excerpt From "Hard Things & Humour" by Leah Marguerite

Welcome friends! I hope you enjoy this excerpt from Chapter Seven in "Hard Things & Humour" This has been an experience very close to my heart. One that I have refrained from sharing with most. I write this to you.

It was the morning of September 11, 2001, and she was sleeping alone in her tiny basement apartment. Her life had been tumultuous recently. Her beloved Grandpa Ross had passed away a month previous. She was engaged at the time, much too young to be, but she couldn’t quell the drive to want to be a part of a family. When her grandfather got sick and ended up in the hospital, her fiancé wouldn’t come with her to see him. He told her he hated hospitals. He recoiled at the thought of a sick old man and did not show empathy for her plight. Then the day came when her family made the hard decision to take her grandpa off life support. She was going to the hospital to say her last goodbye. Her fiancé again refused to go with her and was anything but compassionate. He said he didn’t like hospitals. He was an easy-going, jokester type, but she had mistaken his cheerfulness for kindness. Leah thought he was so nice, so safe. A good choice for a husband. When she realized that she could not spend her life with someone who wouldn’t be there in the hard times, she broke off the engagement. Now she lived alone in their tiny apartment, and she was comfortable with that, but the loss of her grandpa haunted her. She couldn’t let go of the notion that maybe he could have gotten better, that if they hadn’t pulled the plug he could have woken up. She felt immense guilt, and she thought she had a part in killing her sweet grandpa.

That morning, while she lay sleeping in her bed alone, she heard her phone ring. She opened her eyes, the morning sunlight streaming into the room like long fingers, and she ran to answer her landline. As she picked up the receiver and put it to her ear, she heard her grandpa’s voice on the other end say, “I’m coming to see you”. Confusion swirled about her head, and she felt dizzy. Suddenly, she was no longer standing in her tiny basement suite living room. She was on a country road with fields of green stretching into oblivion on either side, a perfect azure sky overhead. In front of her, stood her sweet grandpa. She ran to him, “Grandpa!” she cried, “Grandpa, you’re here!” She knew he was gone, but now he was here, and she couldn’t wrap her head around it. As she neared him, she stopped abruptly. He was transparent. She could see the gravel road and the fields behind him, through him. She could also see him completely. She felt herself in her body, and nothing looked like it did in a dream, but how could this be? Leah thought to herself. She threw her arms around him anyway, if this is a dream she thought, then I’m still going to enjoy it. To her amazement, she felt his bulky form in her arms. “Grandpa! Are you ok? Did it hurt? I’m so sorry for letting you go.” He smiled at her, calmly, no swollen pain showing on his face like the last time she had seen him. “I’m okay, I’m okay!” He chuckled. “It didn’t hurt at all, and it’s not your fault Leah. It was my time to go, and nothing could have changed that.” She cried and clung to him, scared that he was going to leave her again. He started to talk, and she listened. He told her that everything was going to be okay, and not to be scared. She thought he must be talking about her broken engagement and her unsure future. He repeated it many times. Her Grandpa Ross also told her that she was going to have a beautiful life. That she was going to be a mother and have a wonderful family. She cried and cried as he spoke. Then he repeated that everything was going to be okay, and not to be scared. He said so many things to her and told her so many predictions about her future and her life ahead. In this place that was neither dream nor reality, her head was spinning, and his words were floating past her. She was trying to remember everything he said. Finally, he sighed, “I have to go now. I’ve been here too long. I have to go to the other place now, but I’ll always be with you.” She cried and begged him not to leave her again, but he patiently insisted. She hugged him tightly and raised her face to kiss his forehead right next to the mole that used to scare her as a child. As she kissed him, she felt the softness and warmth of his skin on her lips.

She was suddenly asleep back in her bed in the tiny basement apartment. She heard her phone ring. She opened her eyes with the sensation of her grandfather’s skin still imprinted on her mouth. Bringing her hand to her lips, the morning sunlight streaming into the room like long fingers, she ran to answer her landline. Confusion was heavy upon her head. The dream that felt like no dream she had ever had before, was still fresh in her mind. She picked up the receiver, again, half expecting to hear her grandpa’s voice on the other end, but instead it was her mother’s. “Turn on the T.V. Leah, it’s World War Three.” Stunned, she flipped on the tiny television she barely used and saw the footage of the airplanes crashing into the first tower on repeat. She didn’t know what was going on, what to think, what was real or not. She watched, mouth agape, as the second plane crashed into the still-standing tower. All she could think of was her grandpa telling her that everything was going to be okay and not to be scared. But she was scared. She could feel the fear and horror and confusion thick in the air. Her grandpa, a decorated veteran from the Second World War and career military personnel, had visited her on today of all days. He had come to tell her not to be afraid, and that her life was going to be beautiful. He had come to tell her to hold on, and she did.

Leah Marguerite